FANTASY TRUMPS REALITY ANY DAY.In
recent years horror stories relating to
problems with Lasik eye surgery have been
circulating in magazine articles and on the
internet. The great majority of patients are
very happy following the refractive
procedure but about 5% have serious
difficulties which are hard to remedy.
Dissatisfied patients complain of dry eyes,
headache, blurred vision or double vision
not correctable with glasses, facial pain,
migraine headaches, depression and suicidal
thoughts. Some have had to alter their life
style or change occupations while others
feel they have been abandoned by surgeons
who refuse to believe their problems are
real. In an attempt to bring an objective
evaluation of these complaints, the Food and
Drug Administration has recruited the
National Eye Institute to study how
patients’ quality of life has been affected
by laser eye surgery other than vision
correction. The American Academy of
Ophthalmology and the American Society of
Cataract and Refractive Surgery have agreed
to participate with the National Eye
Institute, and each organization will
contribute $500,000 to the program. As with
other elective cosmetic procedures such as
face lifts, lipo-suction, breast
augmentation, botox injections, etc.,
perfection is the expectation, but sometimes
it just doesn’t happen.
COME ON OVER. WE’LL INHALE A MARTINI
TOGETHER.
Spirit Partners Inc., bought the U.S.
rights to a British invention that vaporizes
liquor so that it can be inhaled rather than
drunk. They had almost no sales, no
advertising budget, and the future appeared
bleak. Then a Kentucky politician came to
the rescue by trying to ban the device. NBC
picked up the story and did a segment on the
Today show where an addiction expert
claimed that the device might send alcohol
directly to the brain producing a faster
high. Overnight sales of the device ($299)
called AWOL (alcohol without liquid) jumped
off the board. Several states are
considering restrictive laws and Wyoming
banned the device although legislators
didn’t know if anyone had even seen it. In
Maryland a legislator publicly compared AWOL
to crack cocaine, and the liquor industry
began pushing hard for laws to ban the
device. "There’s no way we could buy that
kind of advertising," said the CEO of Spirit
Partners. In fact, the device does away with
the hangover, but it takes so long to
vaporize liquor that it is useless for quick
intoxication. For those wanting an alcohol
buzz "they would be better off drinking a
beer," according to one tavern owner who
tried it with his wife. Meantime, until that
word gets out the cash register is ringing
at Spirit Partners.
THE CAR WAS INVENTED AS A CONVENIENT
PLACE TO SIT OUT TRAFFIC JAMS.
Hybrid cars are vehicles that operate on
battery-powered electric motors when idling
and traveling at low speeds with internal
combustion engines kicking in when the cars
speed up. One of the pluses is how quiet
they are in slow traffic or at
intersections. This is not necessarily a
good thing according to the National
Federation of the Blind (NFB). Studies
indicate that at slow speeds the hybrid must
be 40% closer to pedestrians than
combustion-engine cars before they can be
heard. While no injuries have been reported
preliminary results indicate that hybrids
pose a risk to blind pedestrians. Perhaps
these green vehicles should be equipped with
loud external rap music when approaching
intersections. Oh, yuk!
HEY! I THOUGHT THE POLE TAX WAS DEAD.
In Texas, legislators are creative in
their efforts to get additional tax money. A
proposal in 2004 would have provided for a
tax on strip clubs to fund public schools
which opponents called "tassels for tots."
The measure died in committee. More recently
Texas lawmakers planned to raise $44 million
annually for rape prevention and treatment
and to provide medical care for the
uninsured by charging patrons $5 at the door
of strip clubs where nude exotic dancers
perambulate around poles. No can do
according to District Judge Scott Jenkins
who ruled that the right to perform such
visual erotica is protected by the first
Amendment. Moreover the state could not
explain why adult nightclubs and their
guests should be singled out to fund health
care. After all, don’t strippers do enough
for society already?
HE’S A HARD DOG TO KEEP UNDER THE
PORCH.
Now perhaps America will see some action
from Congress on a thorny social-financial
issue. Jack Kevorkian, M.D. the former
pathologist who served eight years of a 10
to 25 year sentence for second degree
murder, was released on parole in June 2007.
He is running to be the Representative of
the 9th Congressional District in
Michigan. The doctor claims to have taken
part in 130 assisted suicides, so if elected
he may offer some interesting ways to thin
the herd of sick elderly Medicare patients,
perhaps even some in Congress.
LIVING WITH A CONSCIENCE IS LIKE
DRIVING A CAR WITH THE BRAKES ON.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS MISTAKES. USE
BIRTH CONTROL.
In November 2007, the American College of
Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)
formulated policy for their members
regarding ethics and morality of women’s
reproductive rights. "Although respect for
conscience is important, conscientious
refusals should be limited if they
constitute an imposition of religious or
moral beliefs on patients .....All health
care providers must provide accurate and
unbiased information so that patients can
make informed decisions....Physicians and
other health care providers have the duty to
refer patients in a timely manner to other
providers if they do not feel that they can
in conscience provide the standard
reproductive services that patients
request." Okay, that appears clear and
reasonable, right? Well no, not to Health
and Human Services Secretary Michael Levitt
who takes the Bush agenda and joins Gene
Rudd, vice president of the Christian
Medical and Dental Associations and Joe
DeCook, vice president of the American
Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and
Gynecologists. They claim they could lose
their board certification (not according to
the ACOG President Kenneth Noller, M.D. nor
the executive director of the Ob-Gyn
Board.). Why does it appear that the most
outspoken moralists on issues of women’s
rights are males?
HOW STRANGE THAT ONCE IN AWHILE IT ALL
SEEMS WORTH IT.
A study reported in the New England
Journal of Medicine (NEJM) found that death
from heart disease in the United States was
cut in half between 1980 and 2000. According
to a statistical analysis it was found that
47% of the reduction was due to medical
measures of improved treatment with drugs to
reduce blood pressure and serum cholesterol,
and 44% of the improvement resulted from
lifestyle improvements such as better diet,
smoking cessation, and exercise. These
pluses were partly offset by weight gain and
higher incidence of diabetes. Obviously, the
life style changes are much cheaper than
medical intervention, and provide still more
improvement with better health education
campaigns.
YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, BUT NOT
THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT.
Nobody ever said that Wilcox Memorial
Hospital on Kauai wasn’t a patient-friendly
place to recover. A drunken man decided that
the way to cheer up his sick friend was to
bring his horse in for a visit. He got the
animal into the hospital, on to the elevator
and up to the third floor before security
decided to intervene. Hospital personnel
brought the patient out to visit his drunken
buddy and the horse, but alas, "That’s not
my horse!" Sometimes, the best laid
plans of mice and men ...
DROP KICK ME, JESUS, THROUGH THE GOAL
POSTS OF LIFE.
In Brooklyn, N.Y., a 26 year-old man
robbed a bank. He escaped and changed his
clothes a short distance away, piling the
old clothes on the sidewalk. Unfortunately,
he also left his wallet which contained his
ID card with photograph, his social security
card, his birth certificate, his welfare
benefits card and a pay stub with his name.
PLEASE ADD SOME CHLORINE TO THIS GENE
POOL.
In Columbiana County, Ohio, sheriff’s
officers responded to an accident call
involving an all-terrain vehicle (ATV). Two
witnesses were following the ATV when the
driver sped off rapidly, crashed into a tree
and was killed. They noted that the dead man
was blind and that he and the witnesses had
been drinking. What a surprise!
ADDENDA -----
----- News headline, "Hatred of Hillary
is likely the result of gender stereotypes."
Right! Unscrupulous politics is still a
man’s job.
----- Amount of time it takes for blood
to circulate in a healthy human body is
23seconds. Exxon-Mobil profit in that same
time is $28,000.
----- In 1958 Princeton professor John W.
Tukey coined the term software.
----- Percentage of Democrats who
consider themselves in excellent mental
health is 38% while Republicans claim 58%.
----- "Right hand, left hand. It doesn’t
matter. I’m amphibious." NBA basketball
star.
Aloha, and keep the faith. ----------rts
Contents of this Newsletter do not
necessarily reflect the opinion, policy or
position of the Hawaii Ophthalmology Society
or the Hawaii Medical Association. Editorial
comment is strictly that of the writer
