PATCHES? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKING PATCHES!

At Nottingham University in the United Kingdom, scientists are researching the problem of amblyopia. Typically, therapy involves patching the better eye to stimulate the neural connections in the amblyopic eye, and to encourage the eyes to work together. At Nottingham, experimental treatment revolves around using virtual reality (VR) computer games to create a three dimensional environment. In a VR driving experiment the computer sends images of one’s own car to the bad eye, and images of other cars to the fellow eye. Obstacles on the track are sent alternately to both eyes so that the viewer must combine the images to get through the game. According to the research team the game produced in one hour the same visual level obtained with 400 hours of patching. The technique has not been proven with rigorous peer-reviewed trials, but initial results show remarkable progress.
AT B&L THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
Who would have thought just a few months ago when Bausch and Lomb Inc.(B&L) was mired in the frightening findings of contaminated eye solutions that the company would be the sweetheart in a competitive auction? Just a month ago B&L had settled on a deal to sell out to Warburg Pincus, a private investment firm, for $3.67 billion. The deal included a 50 day option period and before the door closed, Advanced Medical Optics Inc (AMO) jumped in with a considerably better number of $4.23 billion. This is a weird picture for two reasons. First, both B&L and AMO have had some serious contamination and infection problems with significant legal vulnerability. And second, in the world of big-time private equity, gentlemen simply do not jump on one another’s signed deals. So, at this time B&L stock which had dropped to $41/share has moved back up, and the Warburg Pincus offer is at $65/share and the AMO ticket is $75/share. For B&L shareholders some contaminated eye drops aren’t really such a bad thing.

TO SEE A MAN AT HIS WORST, WATCH WHAT HE DOES IN THE NAME OF GOD.

In Bakersfield, California, a woman brought her little girl with an ear infection to a pediatrician. The doctor, Gary Merrill, M.D., refused to care for the child because the mother has tattoos. He based his behavior on the teachings of Christ (?) and has a sign on the office wall, "This a private office. Appearance and behavior standards apply." That means no tattoos, body piercings, and a host of other requirements, all standards according to Merrill, based upon his Christian faith. The child had to wait until the following day to before another physician was found. The American Medical Association backed up the doctor (sort of) stating that the doctor has a private office and has the right to refuse any patient he wants. It doesn’t take an authority on Christianity to know that this doctor has his head up you-know-where. If a doctor chooses to be a bigoted jackass, don’t blame Jesus.

TECHNOLOGY IS MAKING OUR CARS SMARTER THAN WE ARE.

Mobileye Advanced Warning System - 4000 is a windshield mounted camera using cutting edge automotive safety technology. It can give the driver night vision, provide alerts when drifting out of the proper lane and/or when moving too close to other objects. It can even make the steering wheel vibrate if it senses a dangerous situation. Moreover, it will nag the driver for failing to use turn indicators. The downside is it cannot function in dense fog or snow (it will notify and deactivate), and with all the bells, beeps and chirps the motorist may become so annoyed, he/she might turn it off. BMW, Cadillac, Infiniti and Buick offer the options at somewhere between $1100 and $2000, depending on variables. Technocrats have still not solved the difficulty with the loose nut at the end of the steering column.

IF SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT, HEY, GO FOR IT!

Typically, dieticians and some gastro-enterologists have advised patients with diverticular disease to avoid seeds, nuts, popcorn and other indigestible fiber. It was suspected that these elements would lodge in diverticula and set up inflammation and infection. A study done at the University of Washington in Seattle combined with data from a number of Boston hospitals found the exact opposite to be true. Researchers studied a cohort of 47,228 men ranging in age from 40 and 75 years who participated in the study, and were free of disease in 1986. With follow up every two years for 18 years, the occurrence of inflammatory bowel disease was not increased, but actually decreased by 28% in those men who ate popcorn at least twice a week, and 20% in men who regularly consumed nuts.

STATISTICS THAT MAKE SENSE - EVEN TO THE DOCTOR.

In the world of medical therapy there is a new number called the NNT which translates to number needed to treat to prevent one adverse outcome. Many people derive little or no benefit from their medication, but they are never told that. For example, if 67 men take cholesterol-lowering statins for 5 years, one will benefit and the other 66 will not. The NNT is 67, and will have cost about $5,000, so if patients understood that risk, they might decide to refuse to take the drug. For patients with a bladder infection where three days of antibiotics will cure one out of two the NNT is 2; no question, take the medication. And on the opposite side of the therapy issue is the NNH, which is the number needed to harm, which should be introduced in various surgical or other interventions. With the NNH a small number is frightening, a large one reassuring. The point of the NNT and the NNH is to help patients (and the doctor) recognize what is the possible benefit, what is the ball-park cost figure, and what are the risks or side effects.

AGAINST STUPIDITY THE GODS THEMSELVES FIGHT IN VAIN.

In Palm Springs, California, a 65 year-old-man was angry because the Desert Sun newspaper did not have the coupons he wanted. He phoned the paper to complain, and was told that the coupons would be sent the next day. The coupons were delivered, but he was still not satisfied and phoned the paper again and said "What do I have to do? Come down there and blow up the building?" The newspaper management phoned the police. A search was conducted at the newspaper with dogs sniffing for explosives (negative), and the man was jailed for issuing a terrorist threat. Bail was set at $25,000. Only idiots joke about bombs these days.

A NEW DIRECTION FOR MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!

Study done under the sunshine project in the Freedom of Information Act, revealed that in 1994 the U.S. Air Force was considering a plan to develop a "gay bomb." The proposal would include a powerful aphrodisiac hormone that would make enemy troops irresistible to one another. The "love bomb" would cause widespread "disgusting but non-lethal" homosexual activity disrupting morale and discipline. This $7.5 million absurdity was not pursued. I couldn’t make this up!

ADDENDA —

----- The world’s oldest intact condom, made from pig intestine, was found in Lund, Sweden. Dating from 1640, the condom came with an instruction manual written in Latin, and is presently on exhibit in an Austrian museum.
----- If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of Congress?
----- Why doesn’t Michael Moore do a documentary on obesity?
----- Volkswagen and Energizer have merged to make a battery operated car, the Bugs Bunny.

Aloha, and keep the faith. ----------rts

Contents of this Newsletter do not necessarily reflect the opinion, policy or position of the Hawaii Ophthalmology Society or the Hawaii Medical Association. Editorial comment is strictly that of the writer.